Here we go
Welcome to Rewilding, essays on identity, belief, desire, and the wild work of becoming after high-demand religion and divorce.
Beginnings are hard.
Especially when your coming-of-age story hits as you approach mid-life: consider this a coming-of-middle-age story.
1. Why this, why now
Hi, friend.
You may know me professionally as Abbey Rodriguez—a name I carried during my marriage, and still carry through motherhood and career-building. But this space is different.
This is where I write as Abbey Fish: meeting the girl I was before religion told me who to be, before marriage taught me to disappear, and before I realized I could come home to myself. And now reclaiming and rewilding the woman who is Abbey Fish.
I started this Substack because I am in the middle of something. And isn’t that liminal space a lovely and terrifying place to occupy?
I left Mormonism. I got divorced. I am raising three incredible boys. I am learning how to be comfortable in solitude, how to be a single mom with shared custody, how to believe again, how to date again, to trust my body, to tell the truth—especially the kind that feels so complicated and like such a hot mess that it makes my heart pound to say out loud. But, I also know those are the stories I crave to hear. And it’s likely you do, too.
2. Who this is for
This newsletter is for people who’ve unraveled a life they were promised would make them happy… and are asking, What now? If are in your own coming-of-middle-age (a much more poetic way to label a midlife crisis, don’t you think?), you are not alone. This space is raw, real, and probably too honest. But if you're here, I think you’re ready for that.
3. What to expect
I will be sharing stories about:
Leaving high-control religion and what that does to your mind, body, and relationships
Divorce, co-parenting, and rebuilding identity
Dating, desire, sex, and what it means to feel safe in your body again
Parenting after deconstruction
Trauma, healing, and re-learning trust without a manual
And to keep it hopeful and joy-filled: snippets of my life on Netherstoke Farm, the 100+ year-old farmhouse cottage where I now live, surrounded by nature, peace, and beauty.
I’ll post weekly-ish, depending on the flow of life and inspiration. Some posts will be personal essays, some reflective, and some just downright ugly and vulnerable. Think of this as a letter from a friend who’s choosing radical honesty over perfection (especially when you have been conditioned to lie to yourself in service of being worthy and agreeable—self-integrity and learning to trust yourself can take a long time to develop, and it is something I actively work on every day).
There is a free option and a paid version. I want this to be accessible to the people who need it, but also provide a community where we can go more in-depth with specific essays and community chats for those who want something deeper.
We’re in this together
If this resonates — even a little — I’d love for you to subscribe, read, and share.
Whether you’re here because you’ve left a religion, a marriage, or a version of yourself… or you’re just curious what it means to live more wildly and truly, you are so welcome here.
We’re not lost.
We’re rewilding.
xo-Abbey
Can’t wait to read everything you post here!